Thief inna night

By Blacksquig

Dedgit the Gnoblar stood in the dark with his fellows, the lot of them shivering in the darkness of the cold mountain air. Covered in soot to hide their faces, all clad in dark rags and robes, the party of a dozen watched from high above the human campsite that lay spread out in the valley below. Dozens of tents, a makeshift corral, and many camp fires dotted the moss-covered floor of the valley, churned up by the passage of the human army and their twice dozen mountain-bred warhorses. For hours, the Gnoblars waited and watched, patience being something they had learned through a lifetime inane, monotonous work and savage whip-rewarded discipline. Their lot among the Orcs was less than a bead of sweat on the eyebrow of their Kaptain, but the Orcs had need of them and so the Gnoblars had a niche in their world, a place of belonging that help them in even higher standard than Goblins! And so, the diminutive greenskins jumped at the chance to be able to enact a plan that would repay their fellow green-skins in kind.

Dedgit was smart, a scholar among the Gnoblar crew of Kaptain Blacksquig, smarter than even the Kaptain himself, as Dedgit would be happy to tell anyone who would listen and that were out of earshot of Blacksquig! Possessed of a bestial cunning and understanding, Dedgit had secured the allegiance of a dozen of his mates to help in out on this mission, of life and death he had told them, that might brighten the Kaptain’s mood. Scouts had brought news of the humans moving out of the mountains, pulling back their forces in the face of Waaaaagh Grimlit, all the while looting the treasures of the Dwarves.

Dedgit had been relieving himself next to the Kaptain’s chamber in the cavern complex, and heard the report about the looted Dwarven treasures. And an idea sparked in his little brain, a chance to kop some easy loot and present it to the Kaptain! He would be a hero and receive the accolades his station called for! Visions of being hoisted high on Orc soldiers, getting to share grog in the grog tent, getting choice bits of captured delicacies, receiving a crew share of booty, his head simply spun!

“Oi, Dedgit! Wake up? Yose sleepin’ on da job? Really?”

Shaking away from the grasp of his mate Digga, Dedgit stared at the twelve sets of beady eyes glowing red in the dark.

“Course I wasn’t sleepin’, knuckleadz! I was finkin’!”

Dedgit pushed past the assembled greenskins and took up his position once more on a jagged outcropping, using his dark-sight to scan the camp below.

Rows of gleaming white teeth appeared in the dark, the assembled Gnoblars grinning ear to ear in the cold wind. They looked a ridiculous lot, their giant flappy ears whipping around in the strong mountain breeze, the only sounds the moaning wind, the whining of horses and the flapping of the colorful snapping banners that ringed the camp below the snowline. Large patches of grey rock poked through the piled white snows that covered the valley and its sides, a fresh blanket of white even now still falling from the night sky and swaddling the humans in their billet.

Several guards walked the perimeter of the camp, a pair of them stationed at the makeshift corral and another pair outside of the commanders tent. A trio of guards stood watch over a smaller tent, whose opening flap blew aside from time to time, showing a small mound of sacks, chests and barrels.

The light from the campfires wavered in the strong breeze, irregular shadows being throw across the billet, the whipping of tent bottoms sounding like applause as they snapped taunt and released, snapped taunt and released again. The aroma of dinner wafted into the mountains where the Gnoblars lay in wait, making more than one greenskin mouth water. Since the camp had bedded down, the Gnoblars had waited. And waited. And waited. Boredom began to sneak in, several of the diminutive greenskins began emptying their bladders into the fresh snow, trying to write crude glyphs with their urine.

Finally Dedgit came back from his perch and ushered his “crew” into a circle to spell out his plan.

“Roit, ‘ere iz wot yose lotz izza gonna do. Dis plan is simple, even enough fer yose lot to understand! Da ‘umies are bedded down fer now, wot with just a few lot guardin' da premir..primros...prim...per...zoggin heck! Da outside of da camp! Weze gonna sneak down to da tent wif da three umies, that lot looks to be guardin’ da treasure. Weze gonna krump em, go into dat tent and take da treasure. Simple!”

The gathered masses grinned and snickered, white teethe glowing against the black face-paint they had dabbed crudely on their faces. Then several of them furred their foreheads.

“Er, Boss. How iz we runts gonna kop those big treasures? Dey is bigger dan da lot of us.”

Dedgit’s triumphant grin faded as the question sank in, his own forehead furrowing even as his floppy ears drooped further. He had not thought of that. How were they going to get the chests out of the camp without waking up the lot of them? More thinking followed as his crew watched and waited. They were used to watching and waiting. And waiting.Finally Dedgit snapped his fingers.

“Simple lads! Weze krump dem guards and takes da treasure to da horses. Load dem up and kop dem treasures rite out from unnda der nozes!

Again the gleam of teeth told Dedgit that his crew liked and approved of the simplistic plan. As one they huddled group moved to the lip of the valley. Each of them checked the sharpened sticks and crude knives strapped to one another, making sure they were tight and not going anywhere. Dedgit leading the way, he dropped to his belly and very much like a snake began to slithered down the slope though the snow, his crew following suite. If someone had seen them, they might have thought an avalanche of large snakes were slowly making their way down the slope. Slithering back and forth, parting aside the snow like waves on the ocean.

Once they had all descended to the valley floor, they stood around looking at how big the humans really were. Massive, gigantic, the guards continued their patrol, not seeing the diminutive greenskins huddled in the dark.

Moving around the perimeter of the camp, the group took up hiding places near the supposed treasure tent. Dedgit looked to his two trappers, Ferd and Jimbo. He made motions with his hands, like a pair of claws coming together. The diminutive trappers scratched their heads until Dedgit pointed to the traps hanging from their belts!

“Yose gitz set dem traps ovver der, near dat big rock. Lay em out and git back ere pronto!”

The trappers took a minute to contemplate what Dedgit had said, but then understanding dawned on their faces and they moved off into the dark. And then they waited. And waited. And waited. Finally the two trappers returned and nodded to Dedgit that all had been done.

“Rite ladz. Dis is it. Yose two lots git over to da horses and git some ropes on em.” Pointing to a smaller than small Gnoblar, Dedgit continued.

“Grimly, yose gonna go over near da big boulder and yose gonna wait for a bit till and then make noise. Git dem umies to come ovva der, den dey will step in da traps and da fun iz gonna start!”

Following more pearly whites in the dark, the huddled group went on their ways, each one moving as they was told. Ferd and Jimbo found a number of coils of rope near the corral, the horses starting to whiny as the stench of the Gnoblars reached their noses. Hooves shuffled as the beasts tried to move away from the offending smell. The two of them, using crude goads managed to isolate one of the horses at the back of the corral, holding it in place even as the horse flexed its muscles threatening to throw the two Gnoblars to the ground.

Grimly, moving stealthy among the guards, neared the big rock. Suddenly he shrieked in pain as one of the steel traps snapped shut on his leg, the cruel metal barbs digging into his ankle and holding fast. More and more he screamed, alerting the guards near the treasure tent who rushed off with drawn swords to see what the disturbance was.

As they guards left the treasure tent, Dedgit and his remaining crew rushed the tent, grabbing up several sacks, while a pair of them hefted a massive chest between them before screaming for help from more of their lads!

Dedgit watched to see if the humans were coming back when he heard another snap of metal and the shriek of one of the human guards as he stepped into one of the traps laid down earlier. Dedgit shook his head in amusement as he heard the shrieks, his lads leaving the tent and heading for the corral, laden with treasures.

As he turned to leave, the gleam of gold caught his eye from a seam in one of the sacks left behind. Grasping the golden object, he saw it was massive wheel of gold, stamped with some sort of image and a number of glyphs. While he could not read them, he knew them to be Dwarven in nature.

Flipping the coin into the air, the Gnoblar caught it on its downward descent, slipping it easily into his crude boot before heading to the corral.

By now the camp was in an uproar, yet another shriek of pain resounding across the valley as yet another human ran afoul of a trap. As Dedgit made his way to the corral, he saw the human leader and several of his men emerge from their tent with drawn swords and little clothing on.

When he reached the corral, his crew were grinning ear to ear as they strapped the sacks ot the whining horse and started hefting the chest onto the beast, in a sort of makeshift pyramid. However the pyramid would not reach the top of the horse. Cursing, Dedgit climbed up the corral post and onto the horse. Motioning for a rope, he grabbed the strap and began tying off the chest. But it wouldn't tighten, despite pulling with all of his might.

“What in Sigmar’s name do we have here?” roared a voice from the dark.

The gathered Gnoblars turned as one, shrieking at the sight of a massive human, clad only in his skivvies, brandishing a sword. Like a pack of roaches, the Gnoblars turned and started to flee, Dedgit falling backward over the horse but not hitting the ground as he twisted in the air, caught up by one of the straps. Looking up from his precarious position, Dedgit saw the human raise his blade to strike him.

Thinking like a feral beast, he did the only thing he could. He punched the human in his skivvy exposed privates!
The human doubled over in pain, his downward swinging blade missing Dedgit and instead slicing through the rope that held the terrified horse in place. Galloping away, the horse lurched through the corral opening, sacks and chest bouncing to and fro while Dedgit, or more precisely his head, bounced along the rocky ground. One of the sacks opened, spilling Dwarven treasures across the ground like a short river of gold, even as the horse raced past the camp perimeter, tearing one of the banners from its pole, entangling it in the wildly bouncing treasure haul as it disappeared into the freezing mountain night.

Less than a day later, a sweated and bedraggled horse wandered into the orc camp. Shouts brought forth Kaptain Blacksquig and his crew, who marveled at the prize that walked right into their clutches. Sacks, overflowing with gold, a chest containing a gleaming breastplate etched with gold, a tattered banner from some ‘umie flag.

And even a tattered leg of Gnoblar, swinging on a tattered leather strap. Twisting in the wind. Blacksquig grabbed the proffered foodstuff (boot and all), munching down on the bone with a satisfied grin. The meat was thin and greasy but it had a good flavor. Blacksquig patted his paunch once he had finished the snack, a load and satisfied belch followed...