Now, I know ye aren't exactly keen on helpin' us dwarves, but do ye think ye can me a favor. Can ye fatten up dem snots ye call goblins? I need two o' 'em just t'have enough blood fer one dwarf's worth o' warpaint. It's just plumb embarrassin' t'go in t'battle an' only have half yer dwarves properly attired.

Lookin' forward to dancin' on yer grave,
- Brask Alpsbane

Come 'ere and say dat again, stunty!

What? Did I say it too fast?

Alrighty, I'll even help ye bend down so ye can see eye t'eye with me.

*Suckerpunch to a sensitive spot*

Ye need to fatten de goblins ye send out on suicide missions so me boys can be properly dressed fer battle! Grobi-blood warpaint's part o' me slayers' uniform, an' the other is a big honkin' axe fer cuttin' yer head down to size. Without th'paint, me slayers just be dwarves in th'buff. I'm payin' ye a compliment by requirin' that it be grobi blood. If ye don't wanna fatten dem gobs up, though, then I guess we'll have t'switch t'usin' the blood o' earless elves fer our warpaint.

Believe me, it just isn't th'same.

Hur, hur, hur!

Da Kaptain

Come on guys, can't we all live in peace? We're civilized folks (more or less). We should be able to come to a suitable arrangement.

As the most fair and balanced voice here (Because I'm a honorable dwarf obviously) allow me to suggest the following.

We band together to form a new kingdom. The dwarfs live in and control all the main halls of the mountain and serve as the kingdoms wise leadership. The humans with their trade experience and ability to be in the sun without being bothered can live along the coast and handle the glorious trading opportunities. They can all do the mundane but important jobs like rowing the ships or serving the drinks for the leadership caste.

The strong and burly orcs will be a vital part. They'll live in the deepest mines and dig out the ore. The dwarfs will use hardly any whips, and there will be lots of scraps.

See! We can come to a mutually beneficial understand!

Ah, but noble Freyr, you presume too much! You see, these greenskins can't be civilized because they aren't people. They are animals. You can't reason with them; you can only hunt them before they overpopulate.

Of course, the best way to hunt one animal is with another. I believe I have some mastiffs that may be of use...

Wot 'bout all ov da gobbos? Weez aren't any gud in da mines but weez pretty smart! So perhaps weez can be yer advisers an' 'elp yer "leaders" actually rule da kingdom properly, since all dey seem ta do is ta drink ale an' talk 'bout how everfing was better in da ol' days.

Wazoo

Esteemed goblin, you may consider your smarties 'smart' when you have devised a means to construct buildings more complicated than mud-huts and tree-houses. No, no; I'll offer a simpler challenge: when you can actually form a straight line when preparing for a fight and not stab your friends when trying to stab the enemy, then I will allow you to call yourselves smart.

Until then, you are mere beasts to be put down.

Aye, ye can be me wife's fashion advisor. She be wantin' t'know if that suit o' plate be makin' her rump look big.

It does....

Wazoo